The profound excellence of Johnny Cougar

My brother and I are both well aware that the greatest song ever to flow out of an American amplifier was John Mellencamp/Johnny Cougar/John Cougar Mellencamp's "Jack and Diane."



I don't wish to imply that Mellencamp, henceforth referred to as the Coog, is the greatest artist in American rock or that "Jack and Diane" is a real life-changer of a song in the same way that listening to Sergeant Pepper or Abbey Road with the lights off might blow your mind. Shit, I'm not necessarily sure that J&D is even a good song, but it is a great song. A subtle but important distinction. As an Indiana native who failed to hold onto sixteen longer than the typically allotted year and has frequented establishments with names similar to Tasty Freeze, I have never heard another song that's so...relatable for me. I could name plenty of songs I like better, but my unassailable love for J&D is a different beast, solidly mounted in my heart next to my Beatles monument.