Those pro-lifers are a laugh a minute

While perusing the Citizen's Briefing Book at Obama's transition website, I came across an anti-abortion posting that seemed typical enough of the anti-choice community. Abortion is murder, blah blah blah, nothing original or supported by science.

However, when I scrolled down a little, I found this absolute gem of idiocy, authored by Unicode 787. I've added some commentary in bold.

Mr. President,

I want to see the pro-life-vs-pro-abortion war come to an end, and I found out the perfect solution to end that war. See, this is the fundamental difference between the two sides. Anti-choicers see it as a war and pro-choicers see it for what it is, which is a personal decision. It's called Embryo Transfer, although I would prefer to call it Pre-Adoption. It involves transferring the unborn child from the womb of the biological mother (who for some reason doesn't want to or cannot continue her pregnancy) to the womb of an "adoptive" mother (who wants to continue the pregnancy). That makes perfect sense. After all, since a woman wanted to have an abortion, that means she has absolutely no reason to object to becoming an egg farm.

This radical technique is already being practiced in Australia's farm-animal industry, with rather good results:
http://www.cruachan.com.au/html/body_embryo_transfer.htm
It is also being practiced in South Africa's racing horse sport when the mare cannot race while being pregnant (This will help women get back to racing in no time, I'm sure):
http://www.arabhorsesa.co.za/pdf%20files/WAHO%20Embryo.pdf

What a bright idea. Everyone knows that animal husbandry and obstetrics are virtually the same.

This technique, if done with women, can preserve the unborn children's fundamental and undeniable right to life without threatening women's reproductive rights. Think about it: something that is both PRO-LIFE and PRO-CHOICE! Except there's that pesky thing where it isn't really pro-choice so much as pro-treating-women-like-barnyard-animals. Thus there is no more need for something terrible like abortion which is acknowledged by almost every religion in the world as "the killing of an unborn human being". I'm an atheist and don't give a shit about religion. Also, involuntary medical procedures are acknowledged in most civilized societies as completely goddamn barbaric.

This is why I am advocating Pre-Adoption as the one and only solution to the Life-vs-Abortion war. It is compatible with both the Right to Life and Roe vs Wade (if the latter is amended to say "embryo transfer" instead of "abortion"). You are a jackass.

And if there are not enough women willing to "pre-adopt" human embryos, think again. There are "infertile" women around the world (by infertile I mean that they cannot ovulate but otherwise have working wombs) The womb, also called the uterus by the modern scientific community, is apparently the only reason that women exist who would like to get pregnant; they could "pre-adopt" the human embryos of rape and incest victims by having the embryos transferred to them and thus enjoy a perfect gift and blessing: children of their own. And if that's still not enough: there are also homosexual women (so-called lesbians) What the shit is that supposed to mean? who would like to get pregnant and give birth to children, and they could have other women's unwanted embryos transferred to them as well. So, there is ample opportunity for "pre-adoption" to be something very useful, something that is really useful unlike abortion. I disagree. Abortion is really useful. Useful for ending an unwanted pregnancy.

I am praying that you will consider this wonderful solution during your administration. By implementing this solution, I assure you, you'll gain a hell of a lot of supporters from the Pro-Life movement without losing people from the Pro-Choice movement not so much; you'll gain the support of Catholics and evangelicals (especially those unhappy with George Bush's war-mongering policies).

Just think about it. Please, don't let it go unnoticed.

Thank You Very Much and God Bless You. Learn to capitalize properly.




Oh, man. You can't get anything past those pro-lifers, can you.