I'm just not that into most romantic comedies

So I bought a copy of the movie He's Just Not That Into You for a get-together last week. We didn't watch it that night, but I watched it this weekend while recovering from bridesmaid duty and a sciatica flare-up.

I want my $15 back.

In principle I guess it was kind of entertaining (I might watch it again if I'm not in the mood to think very hard), but I have this really big problem with that whole "he's just not that into you" thing because I feel like it cedes all control over any romantic and sexual interaction to the dude while simultaneously assuming that all men are simplistic horndogs and women just want to get married. If he won't marry you, he's not that into you. If he's not calling, he's not that into you. Blah blah blah. It completely dismisses the possibility that men and women have equal potential to be stupid when it comes to relationships.

According to this movie, men and women fall into these categories:

Men: Cool-headed player with a clueless streak, sweet and earnest gentleman with a clueless streak, philandering douchebag with a clueless streak, flamboyant homosexual
Women: Lunatic spinster with a clueless streak, charming individual with a clueless streak, hip urbanite with a clueless streak, Scarlett Johanssen

Also, men will stop at nothing to get the woman they want while women, by and large, are morons. This is because men think with their penises and women think with their ovaries and ring fingers. Obviously.

Are you seeing where this is going? Incidentally, I have indeed read the book and while I found it interesting and even informative on some levels, I think that it was never meant to be translated into a storyline because we can clearly see where that would evolve: A movie devoted to the idea that women are insane with the subtle implication that when you're with The One (whatever the fuck that means) then you will never have problems ever (except the zany circumstances that led to your relationship).

My favorite part (in a self-abuse kind of way), the few seconds that made me almost barf into my Diet Coke, was the very end, when Justin Long (who has spent the entire movie harping on the fact that this is the rule and there are no exceptions ever) suddenly realizes that - omg - he is all that into Ginnifer Goodwin and he has to tell her, like, right now or else he'll just die. Their interaction goes like this:

GG: So...so I'm the exception?
JL: You're my exception.

Justin Long should stop playing main characters in romantic comedies and stick to shilling for Apple.

This particular twist (which I predicted twenty minutes into the movie) struck me as interesting because his character spent the bulk of the story treating women with almost pathological disdain, so evidently that's his rule unless he's hanging out with Ginnifer Goodwin. But since she's the exception, that leads me to believe he's probably still a dick. Moreover, he was kind of shitty to her but because she's desperate and gullible, she'll forgive him for using her as a maid service the second he cops a feel.

This is not to say that the basic concept of someone just not being all that into you is not an important thing to know. It really is and it's shocking/hilarious how many people can't fathom the idea of someone being mostly apathetic about them. But an entire movie based on the idea that women are lunatics with chiffon for brains and men are only about sex...well, this one will probably collect some dust on my shelf.